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Thu, 15 Nov 2007 15:05:13 -0800

Worlds Shortest Books:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton

Sequel:

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
By Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman

THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
By Dr. J Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
By Anonymous

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O.J. Simpson

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
By Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

AND, JUST ADDED:

Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
By Nancy Pelosi

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/14316885/

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 08:18:53 -0800

The Big Bang - Anybody seen this tv show?
best sitcom EVERrrrrrrrrrrrr.......................!!

kind of a cross between office space and beauty and the geek and, well, it's got good writing.

4 nerds - one ultra nerd, one desperate for sex nerd who lives at home with his Mom, an indian guy (hoo boy), and, well, one regular white guy nerd, roommate of ultra-nerd.
And a next door neighbor who's a babe (yet still somehow friendly - go figure).

episode last night - indian guy is set up for marriage by his parents.
He hasn't EVER been able to talk to women.
He decides to start drinking.
He's now able to say terrible things to his fiance.
Ultra-nerd doesn't hit on the girl,
but she like him better and hits on him, leaving her old-world drunk fiance.
Indian guy's parents cuss him out over a webcam'd laptop.
(Take us out into the hall! We want to scold you in private!)

End of show, ultra-nerd has been slipped a non-virgin diet coke by the babe and is playing jewish folk songs in the bar...

ABSOLUTELY hilarious!

Anybody as thrilled with that show as me?
I have to admit, it hits pretty close to home

Other nerd nuggets:
http://www.randsinrepose.com/archives/2006/07/10/a_nerd_in_a_cave.html
http://www.randsinrepose.com/archives/2007/11/11/the_nerd_handbook.html

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/14287608/

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 09:13:08 -0800

A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

...Brady Kelly - codeproject.com lounge

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/13390667/

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 12:55:48 -0700

Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung!

Q: What's also brown and sounds like sonar?
A: (In a high voice) Poop!

Q: Have you heard about the new corderoy pillows?
A: They're making headlines!

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/13358604/

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 09:00:32 -0700

COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM

From Your Friendly Techical Support Staff

1. Describe your Computer problem:
_____________________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately: _______________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
_____________________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:

A. Minor___ B. Minor___ C. Minor___ D. Trivial___

5. Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Shot__

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If 'Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
_____________________________________________________

15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________

16. What were you doing with your computer at the time
the problem occurred? _______________________________

17. If 'nothing' explain why you were logged in.
_____________________________________________________

18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

19. How does this problem make you feel? ________________

20. Tell me about your childhood. _______________________

21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/10578478/

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 12:28:08 -0700

Earlier this morning, I interfaced with a 3rd party hardware solution to extract the core processes from within the internals of the main system architecture...

..and then I flushed.

http://stephenhazel.stumbleupon.com/review/3741981/

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 13:14:22 -0800

No link on this one
FINALLY my son is graduating cub scouts today!
I've been a den leader for 5 looong years.
Now whatta i do?
I'll think of somethin.