StumbleUpon | megellen's blog posts

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24471875/

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:13:54 -0700

Michalene: This corn tastes like hell.

Lucy: Dude. That's the wrapper.

Michalene: Oh.

Spud: Hi guys!

Lucy: Carpe Diem, batpug! Who is THAT?

Spud: Name's Spud. I'm Emil's cousin. I'm here to help! I live over on the scousemonkey blog.

Michalene: You're what, 12 weeks old? You're a pup! You can't even have a Livertini.

Spud: I'll have one of Luce's Liver Snaps.

Lucy: Huh. Here to help eat my Snaps? Over my steaming carcass! (gives Spud the frosty pug shoulder)

Michalene: Just ignore her. Luce gets all crabby when a super cute celebridog shows up. She's not big on sharing either.

Spud: I think it's time to bag o' poo SU. We need some excitement.

Lucy: What?! Wait. Me too! SU is all boring. Nobody is snarky. Nobody can say a bad word. I hate it! I want someone to call me a cunt. A rotten, rotten cunt. I've been practicing my rottenness!

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24472381/

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:13:39 -0700

Michalene; Shut up Luce! You giant, slaggy cunt! You'll get the Megellen blog banned and M will get really, really mad. She won't make us homemade mac and cheese with bits of ham. Then I will have to kill you.

Lucy: Ha! Michalene, you are such a giant, pusswag chicken lips.

Spud: And so smart!

Michalene: What?

Spud: Never mind. I'll use my giant brain to help SU be snarky again.

Michalene and Lucy: Wow! That IS a giant brain.

Stay tuned!

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24453860/

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:19:05 -0700

Raccoons found my sweet corn last night. Dang.

I've already been to the back garden once this evening. No sign of them.

They are sneaky. Very, very sneaky.

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/21856527/

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:06:46 -0700

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/23363954/

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:05:33 -0700

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24346042/

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 11:05:21 -0700

Conversations with Lucy the Pug

Lucy: I'm bored. I'm so bored; I can't even keep my eyes open. Why don't we go to another blog and make big fun of it?

Me: We have to be nicey-nice now. All the time. No more funny mean stuff. Go sit on Big Mike. He'll scratch your back.
Lucy: Aaaaaaaah.... I am still bored. Let's go to CherishMe's blog and tell her she writes poetry. We can be all "You CRAZY POETRY WRITER! You are writing some POOOO-EEEEE-TRY!"

Me: I'm sure that will terrify her. (insert eye roll) She'll run right to the Dev's and tell them what a badass you are.

Lucy: Really?

Me: No.

Lucy: We could email kristenlcolby. We'll let it slip that Higg's poodlebitch has fleas! Fleas with HPV! Bird Flu fleas!

Me: I think she now knows, Luce. Nevermind.....Come over and sit by me on the couch, we'll think of something to do.

Lucy: Crap! I gave it away, didn't I. Hey! We could visit the Irish guy that's secretly in love with moi! The monkey guy. He's a magic monkey.

Me: I'm not sure that's a good idea, Luce. He leans toward crabby. Why do you want to visit him?

Lucy: (whispering) Magically delicious.

Me: What?

Lucy: He, ah, might have some charms. Some lucky, lucky charms.

Me: Lucy! Now stop. I'll get into trouble and it will be all your fault!.

Lucy: What!? God, you are so boring. And, you smell like Peas. Seriously. Peas and Carrots. The scent is killing me. Did you roll in the garden?

Me: Every morning!

Lucy: I knows! I know! We could go to Caile-Girl's! We can be all "HOW'S your wedding coming along, CG? We wanna hear all about it!"

Me: Ah, remember before when I said "No funny mean stuff."?
Lucy: What!?

Me: Sigh.

Lucy: Megellen?

Me: Yeah, Luce.

Lucy: Your butt smells like peas.

Me: Thanks Luce.

Lucy: You're welcome!

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24303729/

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:51:16 -0700

What I made for Dinner:

Homemade mac n cheese with ham. You know, where you make a bechamel and then add the cheese until you have a huge pot of creamy, cheesy goodness. Toss in your macaroni and ham and put on a buttery crumb top. It's like eating an orgasm.

Garden English Cukes w/ dressing

Corn (picked about 8 seconds before I cooked it)

I am the bestest cook.

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24269037/

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 03:14:04 -0700

I was lazy this weekend.

It was great.

(Ok, I wasn't super lazy. I had a wedding shower and two dinner parties. That equals a lot of hanging around and chatting. And, wedding shower cupcakes. Mmmmmmmmm. Cupcakes.)

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24061346/

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:06:27 -0700

I got this review from "TheMobiBlog just a moment ago.

"PRISON MENTALITY HATE STUMBLER & ACTIVE HATE GROUP ASSOCIATE >>>> REPORT ALL HATE SPAM.. Don't allow Hate to Victimize you. Do Something About It Now!"

It's funny how the most professed "anti-hater" of all SU, the attention seeking TheMobiBlog, is by far the most hateful of us all.

Also, a spammer.

Lucy: I think TheMobimeanie needs a flaming bag of poo!

Me: No! No flaming bag of poo!

Lucy: Why? He's yelling and being all hostile up on your blog? He needs a flaming bag of poo.

Me: No way Lucy! He's a spammer! He's just trying to drive traffic to his new blog.

Lucy: But he wrote on his front page all about how he doesn't make any money!

Me: Well, not yet. TheMobimeanie comes over to Megellen blog and screams and yells. He's hoping that I'll go back over to his blog and scream and yell and bring all my friends. Then he can take his stat counts to show how many hits he gets and start pursuing advertisers. We just have to ignore him and not give him any traffic!

Lucy: No bags of flaming poo?

Me: No bags of flaming poo! At all!

Lucy: Ah, Megellen? You know when you went to the store and got some milk? I took a litte trip and there might be some things missing from the pantry.

Me: Er, what things?

Lucy: Well, a bag. Charcoal lighter fluid. Some paraffin. Some. Poop. Out of the yard.

Me: Lucy!

Lucy: Emil helped! Emil helped! I was only gone 10 minutes. And his porch is concrete! I didn't even burn the house down by accident!

Me: Keep your poo to yourself Luce!

Lucy: No flaming bags of poo when you go to the store. Check.

Me: No flaming bags of poo! Ever!

http://megellen.stumbleupon.com/review/24095973/

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 16:35:11 -0700

Epilogue DR. KRIS IS FABULOUS BABY, FABULOUS

"Ow! Jeez Luce! Your laser pack is poking into my boob." I say, adjusting my toddler/pug. I'm loaded down with pug, lasers, one lousy stun gun and our take out from the Italian place.

"Huh. Stop jiggling me! I'm pooped and I deserve to be carried like the dead-eye princess that I am!" Lucy retorts. She does, however, move the laser power pack from my left breast.

We're slowly making our way across Dr. Kris' back yard. Tasha is walking by herself now with Emil resting in her arms and Bo and Parson have point. Parson breaks ranks and runs to the open sliding glass door, calling out for Dr. Kris as he skitters across the deck.

"Dr. Kris! Dr. Kris!" He bellows and disappears into the house.

We drag our tired butts to the sunny deck and fall out on the cushioned lawn furniture. Lucy jumps out of my lap and heads under my chair to get out of the sun. It's warm here and, finally, not raining. Steam is practically coming off our soggy clothes. An assortment of people, medical supplies and celebridogs come tumbling out of the house.

Dr. Kris comes right over and introduces her self with an engaging smile, "I'm Dr. Kris Colby (names haven't been changed to protect anybody)." Dr. Kris is a lovely blond woman with enormous epic boobs. Lucy, Bo and Parson all look adoringly at her boobs and sigh.

We shake hands for a second as we head for Tasha who is still, well, bleeding.

"Special pillows..." Dr. Kris says, rolling her eyes at the celebridogs who are still watching her breasts with rabid attention. Dr. Kris takes one look at Tash and Emil and yells for back up.

"Higgins! Get DM, my bag and get over here." Dr. Kris yells over her shoulder at a large glossy blond cocker spaniel. A large blond cocker spaniel wearing a pink polo and carrying a large pack slung over his shoulder, no less.

(Higgins!)

"Coming Doc!" Higgins barks, flinging the med pack down by Dr. Kris' feet before turning back to the house. A minute later, Higgins, a large man and a gigantic black cocker spaniel tumble out of the house. The large man winks at me as he turns to help Dr. Kris and Higgins. I relax a bit, happy now that Tasha and Emil are getting the attention they need.

The large black cocker looks up at me. "Yo." He says. He's naked except for a jaunty red do-rag tied around his neck.