StumbleUpon | jasonstone's blog posts

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/27654085/

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 19:32:55 -0800

I don't know how I was spared, but I still have a job. Many of my colleagues were excellent workers and good people. By mid-day today they were jobless. My best wishes go out to those that aren't so fortunate.

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/10247621/

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 19:56:56 -0700

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/7729470/

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:45:33 -0800

Saw this joke on sometimesarah's page. Too funny!

A virgin girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

* * * * * * * * *

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/6032114/

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 09:20:04 -0700

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http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/2536689/

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 13:08:15 -0800

This quote is from a list that I subscribe to...

"Interesting health information
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.

On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than
the British or Americans.

The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.

Conclusion: Eat & drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you."

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/2423101/

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 23:15:38 -0700

"A guy walks into a pub with an octopus under his arm.

He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar
that this is a very talented octopus. "He can play any musical
instrument in the world." Everyone in the pub laughs at the man,
calling him an idiot.

So he says that he will bet 50 pounds against anyone who has an
instrument that the octopus can't play.

A customer walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus.

Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better
than Jimi Hendrix. The guitar owner pays up the 50 pounds.

Another customer walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays
the trumpet better than Miles Davis. The trumpet-owner coughs up his
50 pounds.

Then Hamish walks up, and plonks some bagpipes on the table. The
octopus fumbles with the bagpipes for a minute and then backs off
with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye nae plae it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to fuck it
as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"

Stolen from rsanfilippo. Thanks!

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/2413127/

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 18:58:55 -0700

from xtine66

"Terrorists have kidnapped Bush.

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks,
"What happened?"

"Terrorists kidnapped President Bush and are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire. We are going from car to car to take up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?"

"About a gallon."

http://jasonstone.stumbleupon.com/review/2255495/

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 16:51:21 -0700

How to make a stone
Ingredients:

5 parts jealousy

5 parts ambition

1 part instinct
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add a little caring if desired!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com