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Sun, 12 Jul 2009 06:35:19 -0700

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Date: Sun, 12 Jul 2009 03:27:21 -0700 (PDT)
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http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/34262176/

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:10:36 -0700

/www.stumbleupon.com/to//cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/img_8919.jpg/t:4af663eded337;src:blog"%3E/t:4af663eded337;src:syndicate" rel="nofollow" target="_new">http://cuteoverload.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/img_8919.jpg/t:4af663eded337;src:blog">

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/34080224/

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:49:57 -0700

Understanding sarcasm is a very complicated process to grasp.

Hostile, critical comments may be expressed in an ironic way such as saying "don't work too hard" to a lazy worker. The use of irony introduces an element of humour which may make the criticism seem more polite and less aggressive but understanding the subtlety of this usage requires second-order interpretation of the speaker's intentions.

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/33647104/

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 20:54:50 -0700

Do our human brains seem to blame by default?

Some times when bad things happen to people they need to hear that some cares that it happened & cares about them.

It sounds so simple but most people don't do that.
I'll bet you did.

But if you didn't:

Sometimes people blame in various ways. Most people have learned not to with rapes, I think. But that applies to other situations too. Some times when bad things happen, saying you are sorry that whatever happened and that you care about the person, are the difference between that person killing themselves or not. Maybe it isn't that bad, but they still need to hear it.

But even the kindest people in the world can overlook that basic kindness. I think our (human) brains automatically look for why the event happened. We want an explanation, a cause, an excuse-- something to blame, essentially.

What were you wearing?
where were you? how late was it?
why didn't you have a seatbelt on?
I though you were going to get your brakes fixed
You knew there were sharks in the ocean.
What did you expect from people like that?
Why did you go to a concert like that?
Look who you were with.

You knew better.
Just what did you think would happen?

Didn't you ever think about the consequences???

Didn't you know what could happen?
What were you thinking?
Don't you ever stop and think?
Do you?
Do you?

All kinds of bad things happen to all kinds of people in all kinds of situations.
Even the best plans with diligent care of safety and everything else.
Even if everything is done correctly.
bad things still happen.

But if you really care about the person, don't you still care if the person made a bad choice?

Is the injury any less?

or had bad luck?
or was impulsive?
stupid? or careless? or too vocal?
or went bungee jumping or parachuting or ice skating?
or rode their bike too fast, or walked around at night?

Is the injury any less?

drove too fast? ate too much?
wore skimpy clothes?
flew on Air Chance?
wrote on a forum?

Is the injury any less?

Acknowledging their injury doesn't re-enforce their victimization;
instead, it frees them from it.

Very few things are more freeing than acknowledgement, acceptance and compassion.

I hope the next time anything bad happens to someone you care about it, you'll remember to say:
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time/I'm sorry this happened to you/whatever is appropriate acknowledgement.
Then add,
I care.

Because one person
can
make all the difference
in the
whole world.

I hope I remember too.

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/33645889/

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:53:47 -0700

Friendships, bad things, listening, and caring:

Unfortunately bad things happen to people all the time. Express your sorrow that your friend is going through a hard time or something bad occurred.

Don't blame the person. Please don't tell the rape victim that she shouldn't have been in that area or wearing those clothes. Please don't tell the person bullied not to be so sensitive or just don't hang around those people or what did you think would happen if you'd just acted differently or tell them they are just as mean.

If you really care about the person going through a hard time, then start there. I'm sorry things are so rough for you. Or what can I do to make things better? I care about you; I am sorry this happened.

No blame, no you should toughen up or you're being too sensitive. Don't dismiss the event as unimportant or make light of it. Don't tell the person they didn't understand where the other people were coming from or how you see both sides and nobody is completely right.

Don't tell your friend how you are a good listener when what is needed is a response-- sometimes listening is not enough. Sometimes just saying you care & you are sorry they are suffering is far more comfort than being a sounding board. Listening is a great skill, but alone it does not make a friendship.

Sometimes you need to stand beside the person, stick up for them but perhaps, most often compassion and respect are what's needed. I'm sorry this happened to you. I care about you.

Listening is great and sometimes it is enough but not always, sometimes people need heartfelt warm and caring instead.

Live Kindly. Please.

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/32257560/

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:57:14 -0700

Promise yourself to be so strong
that nothing can
disturb your
peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness and prosperity
to every person you meet.

To make all your friends
feel that there is something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.

To be enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticise others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger,
too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/32028411/

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:52:49 -0700

I'm sure we all have our own ideas and standards that differentiate friends from activity partners. Here are my thoughts:

Activity partners:

Someone you have fun doing things with- whether it's hiking, biking, volunteering, church outings,lunch dates, clubs, school, etc.

Although you may trade favors & chat on the phone, it lacks a certain emotional commitment and heartfelt bond-- though it often caring, respectful, and full of common experiences (hopefully, happy ones).

Our activity partners often change over time, perhaps we move, change jobs, change life-stages, or move on to new hobbies. Sometimes they betray us or fail to meet current needs. Sad but not devastating.

Even though the bond may initially seem strong, typically, it fades & probably fades away eventually.

On the other hand--

Friends are someone that we share a heartfelt bond-- might even be one that is hard to understand or explain. Nevertheless, you feel the bond deep inside.

Although when starting a new friendship you might have a high level of contact, the bond remains fairly constant over time. Unfortunately, sometimes we lose friends for all kinds of valid reasons. However, we are more likely to discover that our friend wasn't really a real friend after all.

Very few things are worth being treasured as a long-time friend or a bestfriend-- the bond often gets stronger over time not weaker. It is not often controlled by proximity, time, or activities.

Losing a true friend is heart-breaking. Luckily, it usually takes a lot to destroy a real friendship. Otherwise, I suppose friendships would be even more rare.

In many ways, friends are the family we choose-- trite but true. There is just a certain emotional (& maybe intellectual fit), comfortableness, respect, and shared values-- and it is not dependent on shared activities, hobbies, religion, politics. Oddly, it is often unexplainable.

Friendship is not necessarily dependent on who we are but rather who we are together.

A friend is someone who you want to share both the good and bad times with, stick up for, lean on, trust, and respect. Friends are loyal, honest, accepting, and forgiving. You would lend a hand willingly, even if it really meant your physical hand.

Friendship is so vital because having a special shared emotional connection is a basic human need; yet, perhaps the very hardest to fulfill.

Even though we don't always treat our friends the way we want to be treated (or vice versa), somehow the bond can persist until things balance out again.

Ironically, it is often hard to tell even your best friends how much you value both the relationship, and them as an individual. But we sure should.

inc
4/15/9

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/32116823/

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:39:32 -0700

�I Dreamed a Dream, Lyrics, Les Miserables

([Fantine is left alone, unemployed and destitute)

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/30826750/

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 08:36:53 -0800

How to contract the negative

Negative statements are formed by adding the word not after the verb:

correct�� incorrect

you haven't�� you've not

I haven't � � � � �� I've not

http://inc123.stumbleupon.com/review/29488639/

Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:19:32 -0800

When you look
at something
with eyes full
of
hatred,
contempt,
or
disgust,
do you
see
all
there is
to
see?

Blinders.

inc
1/21/09