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Sat, 27 Sep 2008 17:04:50 -0700

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Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:32:40 -0800

How to Wrap Presents with Doggies in the House
by: None

from David the Dogman

Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor.

Get tape back from puppy.

Remove scissors from older dog's mouth.

Open box.

Take puppy out of box.

Remove tape from older dog's mouth.

Take scissors away from puppy.

Put present in box.

Remove present from puppy's mouth.

Put back in box after removing puppy from box.

Take scissors from older dog & sit on them.

Remove puppy from box & put on lid.

Take tape away from older dog.

Unroll paper.

Take puppy OFF box.

Cut paper being careful not to cut puppy's foot or nose that is getting in the way as it "helps".

Let puppy tear remaining paper.

Take puppy off box.

Wrap paper around box.

Remove puppy from box & take wrapping paper from its mouth.

Tell older dog to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it.

Take scissors away from puppy.

Take tape older dog is holding.

Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog & sitting on them again.

Fend off puppy trying to steal tape & tape another spot.

Take bow from older dog.

Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with.

Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up.

Give pen to older dog to hold so he stops licking your face.

Remove puppy from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the paper on.

Take now soggy bow from puppy & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks.

Take pen from older dog, address tag & affix while puppy tries to eat pen.

Grab present before puppy opens it & put it away.

Clean up mess puppy & older dog made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper.

Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good helpers they are.

http://erica2368.stumbleupon.com/review/7387876/

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 22:54:35 -0800

http://erica2368.stumbleupon.com/review/6364834/

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 13:00:13 -0800

When a man volunteers to do the barbecue, the following chain of events is put into motion:

1. The woman buys the food.

2. The woman makes a salad, prepares vegetables, and makes dessert.

3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10. Everyone PRAISES THE MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing her.

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Wed, 29 Mar 2006 00:39:22 -0800

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Wed, 22 Mar 2006 05:50:39 -0800

Photos of my mom, cousin and me in the 1980's.

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Thu, 15 Dec 2005 06:08:15 -0800