StumbleUpon | caligula04's blog posts

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/5301206/

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 18:01:23 -0700

Why aren't new stumbles working any longer?

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/3670530/

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 08:38:34 -0800

The funniest Nigerian scam email ever:

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major
Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret
flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet
spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station
Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union
was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the
Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been
occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He
is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated
flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American
Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust
Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down
payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to
bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American
Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total
amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil
servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service
Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous.
In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred
sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses
(internal and external) between the parties in the course of the
transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to
other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include
downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234
(0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde Astronautics Project Manager

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/1841557/

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 13:58:49 -0700

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull
his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you
understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send
signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that
there is no cat. - Albert Einstein

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/1466289/

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 08:29:28 -0700

From the bottom of a Welsh email: "Mae'n bosibl bod gwybodaeth gyfrinachol yn y neges hon. Os na chyfeirir y neges atoch chi'n benodol (neu os nad ydych chi'n gyfrifol am drosglwyddo'r neges i'r person a enwir), yna ni chewch gopio na throsglwyddo'r neges. Mewn achos o'r fath, dylech ddinistrio'r neges a hysbysu'r anfonwr drwy e-bost ar unwaith. Rhowch wybod i'r anfonydd ar unwaith os nad ydych chi neu eich cyflogydd yn caniatau e-bost y Rhyngrwyd am negeseuon fel hon. Rhaid deall nad yw'r safbwyntiau, y casgliadau a'r wybodaeth arall yn y neges hon nad ydynt yn cyfeirio at fusnes swyddogol Cyngor Dinas a Sir Caerdydd yn cynrychioli barn y Cyngor Sir nad yn cael sel ei fendith. Caiff unrhyw negeseuon a anfonir at, neu o'r cyfeiriad e-bost hwn eu prosesu gan system E-bost Gorfforaethol Cyngor Sir Caerdydd a gallant gael eu harchwilio gan rywun heblaw'r person a enwir."

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/1213701/

Mon, 09 May 2005 12:10:34 -0700

A dog thing...

DOG BREEDS THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT

Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso
a dog that folds up for easy transport

Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow
a dog that throws up a lot

Bloodhound + Borzoi = Bloody Bore
a dog that's not much fun

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter
a traditional Christmas pet

Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull
a dog that makes awful mistakes

Pekingese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso
an abstract dog

Kerry Blue + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye
a dog for visionaries

Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador
a dog that barks constantly

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever
the choice of research scientists

Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound
a dog for financial advisors

Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point
owned by...oh well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie + Malamute = Commute
a dog that travels to work

Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere
a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu = Bull Shih Tzu
a gregarious but unreliable breed

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/1213693/

Mon, 09 May 2005 12:09:33 -0700

Another cat thing off the internet...

About Your PC (Personal Cat)

SPECIFICATIONS

Standard input:
1 bilateral frontal whisker array
2 bilateral adjustable audio dishes (range 20-20,000Hz),
3 stereoscopic scanning device, with night vision
4 Velcro(tm) flavor sampling device/energy collector
5 twin front-mounted odor sampling devices.

Standard output:
1 internally mounted purrbox
2 single speaker with separate growl mode
3 rear-mounted, fully-jointed semaphore device.

Processor:
1 parallel neuron array with Random Access Memory
2 autonomic control of system software.

Included Hardware:
1 calcium-based skeletal structure
2 byte-to-bit conversion array
3 retractable document shredder/hole punch
4 pawpad printer
5 mouse (standard catnip). Also included: natural fiber protective 6 6
covering in various colors

SYSTEM SOFTWARE

Your PC will come preloaded with one of the following:

DOS (domestic shorthair)
OS (other shorthair)
MS (megasoft, installed in units with fuzzy covering)

Conversion to Eunuchs can be done by a simple operation. This is
recommended to prevent the proliferation of cheap PC clones.

Bundled Software may include the following: Mortal Kombat, Acrobat,
Explorer, and Stuffit Expander.

Your PC will automatically convert from laptop to desktop as needed.
There are no user-serviceable parts inside.

OPERATING YOUR PC

To start up your PC, push the power button (on any electric can opener).

Your PC has an energy-saving mode known as Sleep. Your PC will Sleep
automatically if unused for a short period of time, or you may invoke
the Sleep mode by placing your PC in a soft, warm area. To wake your PC
From Sleep you may press the power button as in Start, shake the mouse,
or Tap any of the PC's input devices (see specs).

To perform a Warm Boot: Remove your shoe, then tap the PC gently with
your toes.

To perform a Cold Boot: Same technique as for Warm Boot, but leave your
shoe on.

To Reboot: Repeat the Warm Boot.

Cleaning your PC: Use only mild soap and water, no solvents. Surface
wash only. Total immersion is not recommended. If partial immersion is
necessary, wear proper hand and face protection and make sure your PC is
fully dry when finished.

Compatibility and Networking: Your PC is designed to independently
Assess compatibility with other PCs.

Running Eunuchs will generally give your PC greater compatibility with
other PCs. It may be necessary to install a firewall between
incompatible PCs as each may attempt to breach the other's security
systems.

Compatible PCs may share thermal energy and cleaning tasks and may
network for gaming purposes.

Please note that your PC will be incompatible with units of type BIRD
and FISH, unless appropriate security measures (such as a firewall) are
installed. Your PC may tolerate one or more DOG units provided they
occupy a subordinate position within the hierarchical structure.

Power Requirements: Alternating supply of canned cat food and dry cat
food. Direct supply of water. Direct access to solar and thermal energy
sources.

TROUBLESHOOTING

PC has difficulty exiting ... perform a Warm Boot.

PC shares files from dinner/table/plates without permission: Boot your
PC prior to running food-related software.

PC Hangs Up Phone During Connection to ISP: Try invoking sleep mode
prior to connecting to ISP. Otherwise, perform a Warm Boot.

PC Is Frozen: PC is probably scanning for small life forms. Reboot
until it responds.

Deleted Material Not Going to Trash or Recycling Bin: reprogram
preferences in PC sys/litter box/deposit/target.aim

A cat matures as it grows older.

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/1213595/

Mon, 09 May 2005 11:50:25 -0700

Cat Laws

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some
outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying
mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason
to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct
proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat,
all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap
just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as
uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop,
that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready
to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.

Law of Obediance Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to
do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will,
therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and
take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of
light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable
spot in any given room.

Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the
earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times
the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost
of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of
milk consumed.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cats interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of
effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape
velocity.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Selective Listening
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she
can't hear a simple command three feet away.

Law of Equidistant Separation
All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each
other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

Law of Cat Invisibility
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

Law of Space-Time Continuum
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

Law of Concentration of Mass
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap
she occupies.

Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle)
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the
probability of where she "might" be.

Law of Cat Obedience
As yet undiscovered.

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/240621/

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 09:48:59 -0800

July 20: http://www.langmaker.com/langmake/ -- might be useful...
November 15:

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/476659/

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 12:37:50 -0800

A day late but...

In Flanders Fields
by Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, Canadian Army

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

http://caligula04.stumbleupon.com/review/441969/

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 11:37:48 -0700

Some WSG links:

What is a standard?:
http://webstandards.org/buzz/archive/2004_10.html#a000463

SiFR - mezzoblue review:
http://www.mezzoblue.com/archives/2004/10/26/sifr/

Clearing Floats - The FnE Method:
http://www.orderedlist.com/articles/clearing_floats_fne

Semantically Correct Knockout Quotes:
http://lumpus.info/nerkalog/archives/2004/10/knockout-quotes

Pure CSS Scrollable Table with Fixed Header:
http://www.imaputz.com/cssStuff/bigFourVersion.html

Liquid elastic layouts:
http://www.zooibaai.nl/b/archives/2004/10/24/liquid-elastic-layouts/

Old Fashioned HTML:
http://www.zooibaai.nl/b/archives/2004/10/22/old-fashioned-html/

Will code for software:
http://www.designbyfire.com/000171.html

And some possibly less relevant ones...

Introducing the Customer-Centric Worldview:
http://www.goodexperience.com/blog/archives/000075.php

Hallmarks of a great developer:
http://blogs.msdn.com/micahel/archive/2004/06/16/157202.aspx

If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers:
http://twasink.net/blog/archives/2004/10/if_architects_h.html