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Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:22:06 -0700

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Accident & Emergency room.

He must also make biscuits or cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable
at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 8:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right
To be called Mum!

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/25568306/

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 02:42:32 -0700

A joke I came across today. Just thought you might enjoy it!

An Irish farmer named Seamus had a car accident.

In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.

Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident,I'm fine?

Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.....'

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the $*%~ would you say?'

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/17518548/

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 16:59:23 -0800

Ah well! Another Valentine's day goes by and I (predictably) got the same gift as last year, but with a different colored bow! My 6 year old did bake me a special heart shaped biscuit with a lovely red ribbon. At least somebody loves me!

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/15161290/

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 16:09:43 -0800

Your Psyche is Blue

You are deeply emotional and very connected to everything (and everyone) around you.

By simply understanding other people, you are able to help them heal and let go.

While you are a very deep and thoughtful person, you do have a very silly, superficial side.

When you are too blue: the weight of the world's problems hangs over you

When you don't have enough blue: you lack perspective and understanding

What Color Is Your Psyche?

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Sun, 25 Nov 2007 18:09:29 -0800

A little gem from http://thehumorarchives.com!

"A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just touching it, you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price."

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/14240984/

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 19:04:49 -0800

This is my own fairy name I got from Sue Davies website. Found this thanks to Viking31. Thank you!

Your fairy is called Buttercup ReedwebShe is a panpipe player and enchantment singer.She lives in clover fields where fairy rings grow.She is only seen in the mist of an early morning.She wears bright clover green. She has gentle green butterfly wings.Get your free fairy name here!

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/14039814/

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 19:22:01 -0800

I've begun to notice some very delightful men recently. Strangely I never really paid much attention until now, but you'll notice all these gorgeous guys on my blog. I don't know what's brought this on, with me a "happily" married woman! Maybe it's some kind of mid-life crisis or the early onset of menopause. Who knows?!

It's lucky my husband doesn't have a clue how to use the computer and has never even heard of StumbleUpon! I really hope it stays that way!

http://TheAuctionAddict.stumbleupon.com/review/12767561/

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 18:11:19 -0700

My blog is about who I am, what I enjoy, and what I believe in. Thanks to all the Stumblers who have visited.

I know it's shameless self promotion but three of the sites on this list are my own. I hope you enjoy them all!