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http://Tanath.stumbleupon.com/review/21169417/

Mon, 12 May 2008 15:56:52 -0700

Came across an old email with some funny anagrams, and thought I'd share:

DORMITORY,
DIRTY ROOM.

PRESBYTERIAN,
BEST IN PRAYER.

ASTRONOMER,
MOON STARER.

DESPERATION,
A ROPE ENDS IT.

THE EYES!
THEY SEE!

GEORGE BUSH,
HE BUGS GORE.

THE MORSE CODE,
HERE COME DOTS.

SLOT MACHINES,
CASH LOST IN ME.

ANIMOSITY,
IS NO AMITY.

ELECTION RESULTS,
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT.

SNOOZE ALARMS,
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S.

A DECIMAL POINT,
IM A DOT IN PLACE.

THE EARTHQUAKES,
THAT QUEER SHAKE.

ELEVEN PLUS TWO,
TWELVE PLUS ONE.

MOTHER-IN-LAW,
WOMAN HITLER.

http://Tanath.stumbleupon.com/review/8202202/

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 17:16:28 -0800

Why God never got a PhD
-----------------------

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

http://Tanath.stumbleupon.com/review/8104469/

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:48:40 -0800

"I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said,

"We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car."

http://Tanath.stumbleupon.com/review/8104347/

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:39:53 -0800

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

15. He would often have to break into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen e-mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye !!!

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.