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Mon, 23 Mar 2009 09:11:06 -0700

I am on an online search for tryambakam. mp3 that I hear in my inner ear, and found online many years ago. It is a fast, chant. Has male and female voices simultaneously. The women chant slowly, and the men chant fast and they overlay one another perfectly. The men are demanding and the women are comforting. Together, they chant and it gives me utmost healing. I have this chant on my ipod as well. I wish to share it with friends. I am unable to find it online again. I no longer update my ipod on itunes, as I am quite attached to this version. I can hear it through my inner ear anyway, I just wish to share it with others... anyone know how to get music/chants off ipod unto mp3s... ? or will I mail my friend my ipod... ? :)

I was considering dropping all internet connection except for this blogspot and my emails. since reconsidered...

My FB, SU, and Hi5 friends are an awesome country of our own that we alone, get to run... with bigbros looking on, for now. They are necessary evils. I hear that the UK is really crackin down on the internet freedoms.
I am staying with my friends, new and old... creating true and positive change.

I still must cleanse. so... Instead I have decided to release bondage to other attachments such as smoking the occasionally cigarette, and the television media propaganda. Smoking closes the heart chakra. Damn t.v. turns our brains to mush.

as of next moon, March 26, 2009, Mina 10, 5109. Black. Aries. Fire.

I was born at 3:59 a.m. smack dab, right in the middle, directly between
Balsamic. Aries. Fire. and Black. Gemini. Air.

I am shedding attachments on the same moon as
my diagnosis when tryambakam tuned to my inner ear,
finding tryambakam online, (and Alex Jones online, and opening my first blog at SU.)

"The phase in which the moon loses all it's light does not sit well with any of the fire signs. Concerned with creative action, movement and energy, being forced to rest and recoup your powers, while acknowledgment is necessary, is always frustrating during such a time. The inaction of this period can produce extreme and aggressive reaction. You are inclined to force open doors and windows the inevitably lead to nowhere until finally you are prepared to accept the need to rest."
"The Moon Oracle" by Caroline Smith and John Astrop

Thanks to Pandit Kedar & Rattan Mohan Sharma for sharing these pictures, and knowledge at:

Mahamrityunjaya Mantra - Pandit Kedar & Rattan Mohan Sharma

http://bharatcinema.com/viewtopic.php?p=3645

http://pitrinam.blogspot.com/
Easy ACCESS links one through 40
on the left side of my page under:
"Om Namah
Shivaya stumblin' links"

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Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:54:25 -0700

It was there, in a near death unconscious/conscious state for 6 days and nights, I could hear and see only truth. Orange dripped in all directions and within me. I was a universe with, without and all around. I felt extreme heat, my breathing was extremely shallow. I literally felt the weight of the world upon my chest. It was prickly pain and fear as well as true comfort for Arunachala had took home upon my heart. I thought this must be death. ('tis true life!) I heard Pink Floyd's 'Comfortably Numb' and Tryambakam and The Martial Garland of Letters. I could not understand. The chants reminded me of the farmers in my home town auctioning off their cattle. I could see many things positive in my life that were to come, and many negative in the world. Much Creative Destruction and Creative Chaos

I saw the towers fall but could not make the connection until they had fallen for real, into smoke and nothingness, pancake fashion. I saw the second plane hit and new what was next. When they fell, I felt I was there. I could not breathe my chest was heavy. I dropped to the floor in tears and anguish.

I had heard 'Chori, Chori, Chupke, Chupke' and it had the opposite effect on my spirit as the towers collapsing. I was raised up and knew the sounds to come, although I had not heard previous. It was this silly bollywood song and the falling towers that shocked me into finding my chants within, online. It was there I found Shiva and Arunachala. It was always truth and true reality but now I knew that to be true and felt at peace with my connection to Arunachala Shiva. All is shivalingum.

tryambakam yajamahe
sugamdhim pusti vardhanam
urvarukam iva bandhanan
mrtyor muksi ya ma mrtat

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327824/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:36:29 -0700

I believe there is knowledge that is in a neutral space (Individual, Mass & God) and this 'wisdom' and 'power' are inexpressible and beyond mental comprehension. A vibration... oum. Consciousness/Unconsiousness... more than math, astrology, cosmos, more than a 4 or 5 dimensional fractal and beyond the 7 or 8 chakras. I thank all aspects of God and myself, beyond my self, my intuition, my die hard determination, my 'fiery spirit', and my unquenchable thirst for truth within me and beyond me. I also thank 'my many others' - those who have guided, become, or have been, an aspect of myself; and will always immortality remain so.

It is my wish that you will take your time and read between the mere words. Much more truth is contained/uncontained between words themselves.and find the words that contain no expression and have not or will not be created. We are different and same. We are different in culture or religion and those memory experiences sometimes constrain path to Enlightenment. Please do not feel offense in my interpretations and when you feel I am incorrect, do not feel hesitation in correcting me. As promised I will not take any offense. I welcome our exchange. I look forward to all comments, both negative and positive. All is helpful for my growth, but not required.

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327790/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:35:13 -0700

from Sri Arunachala Aksharamanamalai
The Marital Garland of Letters:

"Tirum/biya/han/danai
Dina/mahak/kan/k�n
Teri/yumen/dranai/yen
n' Arun�chala.

'Look within, ever seeking the self with the inner eye, then will (It) be found.' Thus didst Thou direct me, beloved Arunachala!"

http://www.arunachala-ramana.org/music/arunsiva.htm

I had a difficult time coming into the world. I felt abandoned by my own, of which, I am now, eternally grateful. I spent my first 6 days tended to by a nurse and a doctor wearing masks. I remember things I should have no recollection of. I was unable to enjoy comfort from my maternal Mother until my 6th day of life. My mother's father took his own life when I was 3 months old, before laying his eyes upon me. (Kartitika 1971)

I was introspective and loved to read and imagine. I spent many a summer day sharing the sky and the earth. and becoming the clouds or the birds that flew over, and the insects that crawled under the rocks and un-top the blades of dewy green grass.

Now I can sometimes 'feel' and fly as the raven themselves, at times in meditation. It is a wonderful feeling. I discovered the raven was myself when I attempted to land on a shed roof. It was obvious I was too new to this bird body and crash landed haphazardly.

My breath between giggles brought me back
to the reality that I generally allude myself with!
..this time and this life.

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327767/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:34:28 -0700

I lost all feeling, vision and mobility on my left side, spent time in hospital and was diagnosed with with Multiple Sclerosis. Made moving difficult, but I was determined to spread my wings! I think I broke away from the fold very early on in life. Much earlier than my diagnosis. I have never been much for just folding in, and whenever I did I felt like a fraud, a fake, a bad actor who could be and would be exposed at any minute. I have always only wanted to express my self in my deepest creativity, with only love and no fear... I was afraid I didn't know what that was, and that everyone I loved would ridicule and shun me. A friend, mothered, minded, and helped to teach me how to love myself. My father offered me nearly the same loving advice I had given him, I heard: "Be grateful it happened now. You will happy now. You are young in years, and your life is just opening up. You have been set free to find your happiness. Now go find it. Get involved and the good you wish for will come to you!"
It did...eventually.

I quit my jobs and went to school full time. I became a DTP/Graphic Artist. My friend studied his masters in biology and World Religions. I picked his brain - well, he shared his knowledge and taught with ease - and I read every text book he left laying around for more than a minute. He shared what he had learned about chants, Siva, meditation, upanishads, and breath, and helped me to come to terms with what I had seen in my 6 day unconscious/conscious state in hospital stay around time of diagnosis.

I continued learning breathing techniques with guidance and less fear. I was told of Paramahamsa Nithyananda who had just decided to leave his mother at the age of 17 and wander India as a sadhus in search of himself and Siva consciousness or rather dharma guidance on how to share it. Nithyananda was born a very auspious day for Siva... in kartitika It was discovered my natural physical birth date is nearly opposite from Shiva's auspious day and Paramahamsa Nithyananda birth date at that time. Recently discovered Nithyananda day of Enlightenment is the same as my birth moon. I considered chucking it all and going to find Paramahamsa Nithyananda and wander India as a sadhus in search of myself and Siva consciousness or rather dharma guidance on how to share it; as well. That could not be in my cards at that time. Someday...

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327745/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:33:54 -0700

I left my friend to spread my healed wings and went off to find my husband. I used to play in my dreams as a child with a wee red headed boy in Ireland and I knew it was him when we first met. He was making a hot lamb curry... something I developed a taste for through him, but had only tasted in my dreams before that. I thought "He is my husband! I feel him when he was not around..."
We are One. ...and now we are happily six! xo :)

beyond this illusion to what is real...
I shed light on it for myself and my children. It is finally released. My dreams now I visit others in other places and work in places and with things I no nothing about... until I google them in the morning. I feed people in India, rescue women and children from disaster in oceans, sit at my master Ramana Maharshi's feet, lay on and go around Arunachala, chant with Buddhist monks, protest with "9/11 Truthers", spend time on stage as a performer or teacher and in audience. I always awake feeling as though I am part of a much bigger picture. Looking so forward to sunrise.. which doesn't happen here until many hours after I am awake in the winter months.

This is opposite from my first part of my life, when I would wake feeling overwhelmed, crushed and like I was a powerless nothing. I would not allow myself to enjoy life. I would not eat. I felt I deserved suffering and somehow it would help the world rid itself of theirs. Of course, I know now the opposite is true. I must imagine good to ease others pain, not experience suffering with them. The bible says, "ask, and you shall be given" I was just asking for the wrong things.

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327732/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:33:27 -0700

Things similar to such suffering, torture and torment would often occupy my dreamworld but I had no idea about from where they came... I thought I contained much evil. The Catholic culture encouraged that belief. I have always perceived God to be all compassionate, destructive (of negative aspects), and protective. Siva is all compassionate, destructive (of negative aspects), and protective. Hence Siva came to me. Siva (and Kali Durga) have always been a central part of my life.

Lord Siva said: "What cannot be acquired without great pains - the true import of Vedanta (Self-realization) - can be attained by anyone who looks at (this hill) from where it is visible or even mentally thinks of it from afar."

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327716/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:32:59 -0700

When we first came up to this city and I saw my house and my view I was filled with much joy. I have this wee little hill across the street from my house that I found so comforting and of great security to me. I often dream of a hill in India and meditating while looking at my little hill brought my dreams to me with much more strength and Arunachala, Tiruvannamalai was introduced to me. I found what information I needed on the internet and felt and became even more connected to others and Lord Shiva then I ever thought possible.

http://www.arunachala-live.com/

I believe All polarities are same. Indian philosophy is confusing and is probably meant to confuse, I think to bring a view of a much bigger picture for us mere humans to attempt understanding / confusion to bring confusion and enlightenment. You must first lose yourself before you can find yourself... well, for me anyway. I suppose it is much different for everyone. I believe that Good and Bad are same, as I said earlier, all polarities are one. I think that if purity and truth are not handled correctly it may become evil.

I believe the Christian devil is an aspect of God. All spirituality is correct and right for the individual. God does not fight amongst himself! God is not a punishing God as the Christian's teach. Human beings punish themselves and each other and recognize that as God! When I dreamed of Siva and questioned my religious instructor; I was told I must not let my thoughts ever go to Siva and Kali as they are devil and wife. Not! It simply is not true! I am purity and goodness and I feel for all deep inside... I see visions of mine and others as 'Hell'. (not a place - a state of mind) I am but one single drop in God's Ocean of Consciousness. I am joined with other Conscious drops and dearly departed, but I am but a single drop - not the ocean itself!

I looked for comfort in the arms of Mary the Mother of Jesus. I prayed to her as a child, and to Eve/Lilith... which is forbidden in church's eyes. I held my hands in mudras that felt comfortable, not knowing or understanding, or ever having been exposed to Indian philosophies; just knowing it felt right to me. (I grew up in a small prairie town where we were mostly Ukrainian/German/Polish and North American Indian.) I also used to wrap my rosary beards around my hand and they were offended and I could not understand. The Nuns at school, and the priest at church told me, something similar to You am not Hindu! Do not act like it. Keep your hands still, fold them, do not hold them like that. Be like a good Catholic girl. 'Well, maybe I am not!' - I used to think to myself! It was at about 11 years I begin to attempt to find out about this Hindu thing everyone accused me of behaving like. Books on Indian philosophies were not available in my Catholic school library, so I did not find many truths until after graduation.

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327701/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:32:24 -0700

For my seventh and eighth class, when I was aged 12 and 13, I attended a public school. For a short time a girl attended my seventh class and she wore her mother's rudrakrsha beads around her hand... I became fascinated. I touched Shiva's tears with my thumb as she wore them... she became upset and said I must not. There are many rules for rudrakrsha beads she was not even aware of as of yet. Her mother had said no one is to touch them - not even herself usually. She would have to tell her mother, and her mother would be upset. I was worried for her... The following day, she told me her Mother had cleansed the beads, told her she will not be wearing her mother's rudrakrsha to school again. Her Mother would get her, her own when the time was right... and that I must have touched Shiva's tears for a reason, and that it was okay now, cause they were again cleansed and blessed. I felt a connection to my friend... and a tinge of jealousy of her Indian culture and especially the mutual respect and connection she obviously shared with her her others. She left back for India very shortly following this incident. So there was me: with my rosary beads wrapped around my hand (when no one was looking), and my dreams of Siva, my ancestors, and India... now understanding a wee bit more of who I was, but still feeling quite alone with Shiva in my own intuition.

My little sister and I were very close growing up. I was 5 years, her senior. When she was growing up, and my dad was away, we would share a bed and we would chat and share. When she was little there were these blue fairy cartoons called 'smurfs' she loved very much. If she had a problem she wrestled with... Our imaginations would 'turn my hand into' 'Papa Smurf' - the wise, blue, old, and bearded smurf who would answer her questions and guide her in the right direction for herself - never telling her what to do - simply gently guiding her into what she wanted for herself... looking back, my sister and I note: the similarities of 'Papa Smurf' to Krshn.

Reincarnation has always made sense to me. When I stood up in class saying that I believed Jesus was trying to teach us about resurrection, reincarnation and that we are Divine and contain power of divine within us ... I got told to be quiet and listen, "In Christian Ethics we learn Christianity. I am the teacher and I am teaching Christian values. WE do NOT believe in resurrection." "Well, I do. I have felt it through out my life. I have experience. I know my ancestors teachings" - I used to think to myself.

http://PiTrinam.stumbleupon.com/review/31327685/

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 08:31:48 -0700

In High School, I had a favorite teacher, a nun, Sister Theresa who would allow some discussion on my questions and would gently steer me back to topic saying something like I am a Sister and a teacher and I am expected to teach you as I have been instructed. To get a good mark you must pay attention and answer as you know we expect you to. Shortly after diagnosis, our paths crossed again for a short time. She lived near by in the nunnery and we would often go out together for tea and speak on all the things she was not allowed to teach me when we were student/teacher. It turned out she too, held many of the same truths about life, immortality and God as I, and we became good friends for a time. Not to say, you need to think the same as me to be a friend - stimulating, enlightening conversation can exchange between people whether they agree or not! Most of us don't know how to ask or doubt the prowess of God. Maybe it is our ego that stops us from asking how can anybody formless, voiceless soundless, timeless, can help us. Perhaps our education system is at fault. It develops our ego to that extent that we are often even afraid to ask.

I look to Arunachala as my father and mother and that has made all the difference... being able to switch my thoughts to Arunachala rather than my own natural physical negativity and long held suffering. In 2003 I began attending a yoga class. I had a makeshift rudrakrsha I had worn around my hand at that time. When my yoga instructor saw, she asked about it and I told her that I had created my own rudrakrsha and she said she had a gift for me. She laid out many malas and said I could choose any. I was immediately drawn to mine. She said she was given that particular rudrakrsha mala by Swami Sadasivananda, a devotee of Ramana Marharshi, while in India learning yoga instruction. She had not used it and had been told to give it to whom needed it. Each Shiva tear had been hand picked by Swami Sadasivananda, himself with thoughts of my well being, and blessed by he, himself. I am truly blessed.