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Sun, 01 Mar 2009 23:44:51 -0800

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Note to Stumblers:

Some comments criticizing this piece indicate that it was "hijacked" from a West Wing episode. This is a chicken and egg argument in my opinion. I don't really know which came first, and frankly don't care.

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Sun, 01 Mar 2009 23:36:37 -0800

http://Phun4u2.stumbleupon.com/review/25270027/

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 12:05:25 -0700

Neo's Passport in the Matrix Expired on 9/11/2001

http://Phun4u2.stumbleupon.com/review/14785673/

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:34:16 -0800

Well Worth Reading!

One day, a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list.

Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. The teacher never found out if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "Yes." Then he said: "Mark talked about you a lot."

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were also there, wanting to speak with his teacher.

"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

"Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary"

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said. Without batting an eyelash, she continued, "I think we all saved our lists."

Tears rolled down the eyes of the humble teacher. We encounter so many people in our lives, and it's a precious joy to see the good in all those journeys.

[Original Story was by Sister Helen]

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Sat, 24 Nov 2007 21:50:19 -0800

China Mobile, Asia's largest mobile phone company, has successfully tested a mobile phone base on Mount Everest. If all goes well, the Olympic torch runners in the fore run to the 2008 Beijing Olympics will be able to keep in touch with their loved ones by cell phone on their way up the summit. Great for the ever increasing reach of cellular connectivity and all that, but one less spot on earth that's unsullied by the cell phone.

http://Phun4u2.stumbleupon.com/review/14238044/

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 16:55:42 -0800

If it be I grow frail and weak,
And pain should wake me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I'll understand,
Don't let your grief then stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love and friendship stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come will hold no fears,
You'll not want me to suffer, so,
When the time comes, please let me go.

I know in time, you too will see,
It is a kindness you do me,
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering, I've been saved.

Do not grieve that it should be you,
Who has to decide this thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknown

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Fri, 02 Nov 2007 21:03:06 -0700

2007 Awards and their winners:Best Creative Christian Blog or Website - Dave Walker at http://www.cartoonchurch.com
Most Inspiring Leadership Blog - Colin Adams with http://www.unashamedworkman.wordpress.org
Best Christian Newcomer blog - Dr. Krish Kandiah http://krishk.wordpress.com/
Best Young Christian Blog (under 25) - Emily Woods with http://www.unfurlingflower.blogspot.com
Best Church Website - King's Church, Manchester http://www.makingjesusfamous.org
The Most Original Worship Blog - Worship Central (Tim Hughes and Al Gordon) http://www.worshipcentral.org
Best Provision for Youth Website - Soul Survivor http://www.soulsurvivor.com
Best Christian News and Reviews Site - http://www.christiantoday.com
Best Christian Social Action Website - http://www.StopTheTraffik.org
Most Successful Evangelistic Blog - http://www.rejesus.co.uk
People's Choice Award - http://www.mindandsoul.info

http://Phun4u2.stumbleupon.com/review/13981628/

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 19:11:45 -0700

http://say.expressivo.com/xwb7fdut
Text to Speech for your web browser... As for me I will continue reading the pages. The voices are creepy sounding if you ask me, and you didn't but I had to say it.

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Wed, 19 Sep 2007 14:46:41 -0700

http://www.totallyuselessknowledge.com/natural.php
Have you ever looked at an animal and said, "How in the world does that thing do that?" Well, here are a few answers to those kinds of questions.

* The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.
* Once a bull has impregnated a cow, it will never impregnate that same cow again. So once a bull has had his way with your herd, he is useless.
* Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike.
* Mountain goats can walk almost straight up a cliff due to a supple pad on each cloven hoof. These pads have extremely soft centers. When the animal puts its foot down, each pad works like a powerful suction cup, enabling the wild goat to appear to defy gravity.
* The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
* A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.
* The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.
* The shape of plant collenchyma cells and the shape of the bubbles in beer foam are the same - they are orthotetrachidecahedrons.
* Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Camel's milk does not curdle.
* An animal epidemic is called an epizootic.
* Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.
* The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
* The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
* A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
* If NASA sent birds into space (inside a space capsule, that is), they would soon die because they need gravity to swallow.
* It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up its stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of its mouth. Then the frog uses its forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
* Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. [Who figured this out?!]
* Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucous every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
* Armadillos have four babies at a time and they are always all the same sex.
* Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
* To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs -- it will let you go instantly.
* Reindeer like to eat bananas.
* A group of unicorns is called a blessing.
* Twelve or more cows are known as a "flink."
* A group of frogs is called an army.
* A group of rhinos is called a crash.
* A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
* A group of whales is called a pod.
* A group of ravens is called a murder.
* A group of larks is called an exaltation.
* A group of owls is called a parliament.
* No animal, once frozen solid (i.e., water solidifies and turns to ice) survives when thawed, because the ice crystals formed inside cells would break open the cell membranes. However there are certain frogs that can survive the experience of being frozen. These frogs make special proteins which prevent the formation of ice (or at least keep the crystals from becoming very large), so that they actually never freeze even though their body temperature is below zero Celsius. The water in them remains liquid: a phenomenon known as 'supercooling.' If you disturb one of these frogs (just touching them even), the water in them quickly freezes solid and they die.
* The pupil of an octopus' eye is rectangular
* All porcupines float in water.
* The cell

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Mon, 02 Apr 2007 06:30:35 -0700

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