StumbleUpon | Handshift350's blog posts

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/13137633/

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 09:10:55 -0700

Robin Williams On Golf - Click here for more home videos

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/12138983/

Mon, 27 Aug 2007 08:15:32 -0700

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhixf_jerry-ray-fats

All I can say is WOW! Ray Charles, Jerry Lee Lewis and Fats Domino all on the same stage!

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/12001790/

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 19:42:47 -0700

11 Rules that you don't learn in school.
From the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by Charles Sykes

This is mistakenly attributed to Bill Gates, as a speech he supposedly gave at Mt. Whitney High School in Visalia, California.

It is actually from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by Charles J. Sykes, 1995, and is directed at high school and college graduates.

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Rule 1:
Life is not fair - get used to it

Rule 2:
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself

Rule 3:
You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both

Rule 4:
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss

Rule 5:
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity

Rule 6:
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them

Rule 7:
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room

Rule 8:
Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life

Rule 9:
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time!

Rule 10:
Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs

Rule 11:
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/10014534/

Fri, 25 May 2007 15:55:29 -0700

Pet Diaries

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Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/9842170/

Thu, 17 May 2007 08:32:23 -0700

Hmmmm, Does anyone know what happened to the "Unofficial Stumble Awards?

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/9505930/

Tue, 01 May 2007 09:22:18 -0700

Don't normally post stuff like this, but I picked it up from TheSpiritWalk's page and she's right, it's pretty good and pretty much true ...

WHAT A KISS MEANS

*Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"
*Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"
*Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
*Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
*Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
*Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
*Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"
*Kiss on the belly-----"lets have sex"

*Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"
*A wink ---"Let's get it on"
*Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
*Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"
*Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"
*Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't let go"
*Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"
*Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
*Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completley Comfortable with you"

--Advice--
*Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
*If you were thinking about someone while reading this,
you're definitely in Love (or strong like).

--Requirements--
*Post this again after reading!!
Or you will have a bad year of Relationships.

If you REALLY LIKE OR LOVE someone right now
and MISS THEM and can't get them out of your head
then Re-post this within One Minute and Whoever you are missing will surprise you tomorrow.

Repost this as
"What A KISS MEANS"

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/8783669/

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 07:11:29 -0700

Things I've Learned ...

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow."

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she
handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled
Christmas tree lights."

"I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life."

"I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a
life'."

"I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance."

"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt
on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."

"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I
usually make the right decision."

"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."

"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone.
People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."

"I've learned that I still have a lot to learn."

and the most important lesson is:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget
what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/7971037/

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 10:34:09 -0800

Afternoon Musings ...

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

~~~~

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/7862364/

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 11:32:09 -0800

Hmmmm the things children learn in those formative years ...

http://Handshift350.stumbleupon.com/review/6609495/

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 00:38:44 -0800

The Wolves Inside You

An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He
said to them, "A fight is going on inside me.. it is a terrible fight and it is
between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority, and ego.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity,
humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth,
compassion, and faith."

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other
person, too", he added.

The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child
asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed."