StumbleUpon | DocBarleycorn's blog posts

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/31140559/

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:05:34 -0700

I have become X-rated somehow. If this can't be repaired, Doc Barleycorn is dead. (And I refer to the blog, not my physical being, which will live after whatever Nancy-pants reported me as naughty)

My question..

I just got converted to X-rated, and I don't understand why. While my physics jokes and cooking topics are very safe, even the most provocative of my photos and posts are within the guidelines of PG-13. What do I need to do to return back to the fold?

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/31138403/

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 22:14:43 -0700

Do any of y'all have any idea how fun it is to harass strangers in public? Being tall, and generally scary look'n, I get away with lots of stupidity. Some of the gags you've heard of before, like driving around with a stuffed dog on a leash tied to my bumper. Others are more fun, like crashing an aliens-are-among-us convention dressed as a "Man in black" and start asking people for their social security number while mumbling into a non-existent microphone in my collar. One of my favorites is calling up vet offices and asking them if they'd A.I. a male Yorkshire Terrier with a female Great Dane. The horror in their voice is worth more than anything.

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/31124033/

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 12:29:06 -0700

Random Image Time!

I seriously doubt that is good curry sauce.

Romantic and scientific. Who could resist?

Some nurses feel obliged to walk to you to your truck. Like I'm going to be attacked in the parking lot with all those fat security guards driving golf-carts equipped with walkie-talkies and cell phones. They make me feel so safe.

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/31122999/

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 11:49:30 -0700

Damn, I feel so much better!

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/31008288/

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:11:37 -0700

RANDOM IMAGE TIME!

*I* didn't hitch 'em. Ain't my fault.

It's all fun and games until that patch-beard urologist starts fiddle'n with your bidness. Kidney-stones are the work of Satan.

The world is FULL of these types. That's why, when I slaughter an animal and eat it, I set an extra plate for the vegans. Hey hippy, not only are you responsible for the death of a living thing. but by not eating you are wasting food that could feed one of the third-world babies. Put THAT on your slice of un-buttered wheat toast and chew.

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/30928271/

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:06:48 -0700

All right folks. Here's the deal. I fancy myself a bit of a glutton when it comes to *GOOD* seafood. I've been fortunate enough to had me a wide range of quality vittles over the years, but I'm craving something new. Most of the new recipes I see around lately involve overly strong sauces and spices. I like the taste of seafood, but I'd like to try something new. I'm not even adverse to the use of MSG. Sometimes a feller drops a whole lot of weight in a hurry and gets craving good eats.

Come on people! Mail me a good one, and I promise a silver star and a write up for it. I'm wasting away here folks, help a cracka out, yo!

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/30923819/

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:59:50 -0700

Random Image Time!

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/30768812/

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 10:49:58 -0800

Sorry y'all. I seem to be out of form as of late. I promise I will redouble my efforts to be as offensive as possible. I haven't received any hate-mail all week.

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/30768386/

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 10:31:22 -0800

Nerd-flavored Random Image Time!

Can you feel the power?

Someone showed me that game once. It seemed pretty cool, then I remembered "Oh, that's right! I enjoy having sex! Nevermind."

Just remember the law of inverse squares. It is very possible for a fat girl to have skinny girls orbiting around her due to gravitational pull. That explains much of what I've seen in clubs.

http://DocBarleycorn.stumbleupon.com/review/30644168/

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 07:13:26 -0800

John Barleycorn by Robert Burns

There were three kings into the east,
Three kings both great and high,
An' they hae sworn a solemn oath
John Barleycorn should die.

They took a plough and ploughed him down,
Put clods upon his head;
An' they hae sworn a solemn oath
John Barleycorn was dead.

But the cheerfu' spring came kindly on,
And show'rs began to fall;
John Barleycorn got up again,
And sore surprised them all.

The sultry suns of summer came,
And he grew thick and strong;
His head weel armed wi' pointed spears,
That no one should him wrong.

The sober autumn entered mild,
When he grew wan and pale;
His bending joints and drooping head
Showed he began to fail.

His colour sickened more and more,
He faded into age;
And then his enemies began
To show their deadly rage.

They've ta'en a weapon long and sharp,
And cut him by the knee;
Then tied him fast upon a cart,
Like a rogue for forgerie.

They laid him down upon his back,
And cudgelled him full sore;
They hung him up before the storm,
And turned him o'er and o'er.

They filled up a darksome pit
With water to the brim;
They heaved in John Barleycorn,
There let him sink or swim.

They laid him out upon the floor,
To work him farther woe,
And still, as signs of life appeared,
They tossed him to and fro.

They wasted, o'er a scorching flame,
The marrow of his bones;
But a miller used him worst of all,
For he crushed him 'tween two stones.

And they hae ta'en his very heart's blood,
And drank it round and round;
And still the more and more they drank,
Their joy did more abound.

John Barleycorn was a hero bold,
Of noble enterprise;
For if you do but taste his blood,
'Twill make your courage rise;

'Twill make a man forget his woe;
'Twill heighten all his joy:
'Twill make the widow's heart to sing,
Tho' the tear were in her eye.

Then let us toast John Barleycorn,
Each man a glass in hand;
And may his great posterity
Ne'er fail in old Scotland!

An archaeologist, geologist and a scientist to the core, my father, who spent the last twenty years researching and promoting the technology of flint knapping, passed away yesterday. I don't make a habit of getting personal on these stumble-pages, but any man dedicated to his art as he was deserves a write-up. He was, in his heart of hearts, a loving father and devoted husband to my mother. Far from a normal man, he could be rightly teased due to his eccentricity, but his genius and passion for his field could never be denied. An intellectual, a redneck, and one of my favorite people in the world. The only fitting prayer is "Endure".

P.S. He shall be honored in the greatest wake man has ever seen.

When I think of his mine, I think of Hank Rearden. I like that.